Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

On Regrets…

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

A Brussely Dusk #2

I have very few regrets in life. I’m pretty proud of that. Sometimes I remember things I’ve said or the way I’ve treated people in the past and I shudder or cringe in shame. But I still do not regret those moments. Not because I necessary “learned” from them, but because I’m flawed like everyone else and perhaps there was no avoiding it. I try to express to those that I’ve done this to “sorry” profusely. Sometimes I wonder if they ever fully forgive me or believe me. Sometimes I think there’s no going back once damage has been done.

The only thing you can do is love more and be happy regardless.

Sometimes I think the happiest people are the ones most talented at forgetting or simply not caring without harming anyone else.

Oh, Spine…

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

I recently have been feeling strange weakness in my arms and back. My hands have started to go numb occasionally and I generally just feel super uncomfortable while working on a computer. I decided, after scrupulously filtering recommendations, to see a chiropractor. Just as I suspected, I got some problems.

The photo above is not my actual X-Ray, but the X-Ray of a normal top-of-the-spine connecting the head and back. I was told a normal spine curve is like a subtle “C” (much the one above). The orange line represents the shape my neck is currently in which is must less curved. This means that where the vertebrae where C7 is placed is pinching a nerve because of the sharp angle in which connects with the above vertebrae.

Now, I am normally skeptical of chiropractors in general, but this doctor came highly recommended by a dear friend and I essentially received a nice hookup. My insurance covers 90% of it, so I really have nothing to lose.

I must exercise and stretch more. Today, I walked to the basketball court adjacent to my block and shot hoops for about 30 minutes. I couldn’t believe how much better I felt afterwards. I really need to embrace the joys of getting my heart rate up and stretching my body out.

This back stuff is kind of a shame considering all the wonderful things happening in my life right now. But… we deal with changes as they come. In my life, I’ve found that change almost always results in things getting better. Injuring my neck / back is a sign that I need to make a change anyways and I will ultimately be glad I did. The pain now is part of the happiness later (name that movie quote!).

Discovery

Monday, August 9th, 2010

Europe Boys

By far my biggest personal problem in the last few years is leaving / making time for myself and others. This past week I really concentrated on organizing my tasks in order to have time to wander, to play guitar aimlessly, watch Metallica documentaries, talk in parking lots until 1am. It feels foreign and yet familiar. It feels like a time in the past marked by lots of discovering.

So much life stuff parallel the good parts of improv. I remember working at Barnes & Noble in Columbus, OH and reading snippets from a new book on sale about saying “yes” to everything. This was way before I started studying improvised performing. I remember that advice changing me. I recall that book leading me to driving around the country in a van just months later (and I didn’t even read the whole thing, I don’t even remember the name of it). It holds so true, today. I’ve been saying yes to new things, every offer, every “want to get some food”, every “want to talk about this”, every “let’s watch/listen/eat/look at this”. Somehow being more selfish with my time has made me feel less selfish, less guilty, and much happier.

Quality

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

Grape Salad

I’ve noticed a key difference in myself from years ago. This is not meant to be snobby or elitist in any way, but I’ve realized that I most often would rather not indulge in something if it’s low quality. Food is a great example of this. It’s more important for me that something is of good quality (whether it be ingredients, freshness, healthiness, environmentally sound) than to just have it period.

Last night my dad asked me if I wanted anything from the store. I’ve been on a big ice cream kick lately so I told him to get me some ice cream if he’d like to. Then I realized that my parents aren’t big into ice cream, typically, so I’d better mention that I only wanted it if it was a decent brand. At first I felt like a snob but then I thought about it and that’s a conscious choice I make every day. Essentially, if something is not good, I would rather go without it. Does that make sense?  Also — quality doesn’t necessarily mean that it is going to be more expensive, but oftentimes does. I think this is true mostly because are so used to this concept. Also — Food and materials are too cheap in this country for many reasons (corn subsidies, Walmart philosophies, etc…).

If I can’t wear well-made clothes or eat good food, I’d rather just have fewer / less of it, or not at all. The French really have that philosophy down pat.

Food for thought (no pun intended)…